Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Randomize
