I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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