an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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