I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Randomize
