i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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