did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Randomize
