I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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