Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Let's paint friendship bongs
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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