I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
