wakey wakey hands off snakey
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
no, he came in my armpit
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
