i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
