He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
