CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Randomize
