I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
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