btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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