Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
