So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
