i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
