i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
