my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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