That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
