Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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