it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
