i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Randomize
