Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
