I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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