Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
