I swear she didn't look like that last week.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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