your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
