y did u give ur computer a hand job?
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
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