i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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