i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
