I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Randomize
