i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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