Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Randomize
