Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
