oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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