how can u be prego again
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Randomize
