eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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