she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
