maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
