Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
