How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
