Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
