so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
