if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
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