I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
