she is the kim kardashian of front butts
This house was built for laser tag.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
So much rum. So many feels.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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