escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
