dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
