I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
