she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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